Speak Up

Silence isn’t always golden. This is a phrase I shared in 2011 on my Facebook page.

Silence- complete absence of sound (noun) google definition.

I was never one who always spoke up for myself for failure to get on someone’s bad side. All this changed after I’ve realized Silence isn’t always golden. Speaking up allows the other person to know how you’re feeling, whether you’re in agreement or not. It’s important to share your feelings without fear of the outcome.

I’ve been reading books, listening to podcasts talking to people who are very unapologetic about who they are and what they bring to the table. If you’re at a job and you have all the ideas that would make a process work and you don’t say anything, that is to your detriment. How many times have you missed an opportunity to share ideas and even get ahead in life? What has your silence done for you?

After reading the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F$@k – Mark Manson it has further cemented me to speak up or focus more directly on what makes me happy. Putting yourself first allows you to strive, to grow and achieve things that you’ve always wanted to achieve.

Whatever you do or say always focus on the bottom line YOU. Ensure that all your encounters leaves you satisfied with your response to any situation. It doesn’t happen over night it takes practice and drive. Never miss another opportunity to shine because you remained silent.

Silence isn’t always golden.

Until next post….

Dee

In my Cocoon…

I’ve always thought if I played it safe, followed the rules I’d get ahead in life. I wouldn’t be stuck, I wouldn’t feel trapped. I was wrong, I’ve been wrong. That’s not how the real world works.

Yes rules are there for a reason and like everything else if you break the rules you have to face the consequences. To me it feels that I’ve been following the rules and watching the rule breakers soar ahead.

Have you ever had that thought? I have, I’m having it now as I pour my self into this piece. This is not something I’m hearing from a girlfriend whose venting. This is me feeling all these emotions. I’ve worked proved myself and gotten sidelined over and over again. We have this saying ” A Cat and A Dog doesn’t have the same luck” . Ever since I’ve heard that saying I’ve been playing it safe with everything in my life.

I’m not saying that I’m about to go rob a bank. No, I’m thinking that it’s time to take a stand ,whose to say things will end badly? I mean this feeling and these words have been holding me back and like the butterfly it’s time I break out of that cocoon and soar.

It’s scary, it’s nerve-wracking but I will be better off. Safe feels good, being cautious is ok but nothing fun happens there. The people who makes it big didn’t play it safe. Can you imagine Oprah Winfrey playing it safe after being fired? Or Michelle Obama?

As I write , they’re two things I have to do before I close out 2021 and I know once I’ve unlocked that part of my life, nothing I mean nothing is going to hold me back. I have been holding me back. I’m the one who needs to get out of my head. Stop being an overthinker and think positive , I am and I can. Break free from my cocoon.

I’ve made the first step to recovery admitting fault, it’s invigorating and I feel like now I can take on everything. My mind, I’ve been holding me back, thinking I would fail or I will get in trouble.

Greatness is in me and greatness is in you. A friend of mine have been putting off going back to school because like me they’ve convinced themselves that they’re not good enough, I won’t make the qualifying exams to matriculation. Last night, she called me to view her results , she did the exams ,studied applied herself and in the hour of truth couldn’t bring herself to view the results. She called me ,very anxious, nerves all over the place- Dee ,girl what if I failed, it’s been 20 years, I don’t have anymore time, all the excuses you could think of.

I entered her details and when I saw the results ,I paused for a minute. She was still going on and on about how she doesn’t know what she’d do if she’d fail.

Telling her how smart and amazing she was and how proud I was of her calmed her down a bit. Congratulations 👏you’re going to University. Tears of joy, immediately she started speaking positively believing that after 20years she had fulfilled a childhood dream, go to University. Achieving all this especially in a pandemic with a chaotic family life. My friend has broken her cocoon and now she flies ….

Join us and breakfree from your cocoon. Let’s do this thing together.

Feel free, be free …

Until Next Post…

Dee

Dealing with Failure

It’s almost that time of the year when I look forward to Blogmas and all the other challenges out there. I also am closer to celebrating my blogversary. Almost 1 year ago I started this blog.

I’m back, I know I’ve been MIA for a hot minute. I took some well needed break and if I’m being honest I still feel that I could use a little more. However, I just wanted to touch base with all the persons who are keeping this blog alive , reading my posts ,liking and sharing it with family and friends. Thank you all.

I also want to say to the people who are struggling to hold on. Its not easy, I know. I have been going to school and trying to do the things that I have ignored to do because of PTSD. One of the worst feelings ever is learning that I have failed something. I’m not perfect and yes, like everyone else you would have learned something, that experience gives you the edge once you attempt it again. I know, however that initial feeling of not being good enough ,that feeling knowing you went in confident and you believed that you got something to only hear no, I’m sorry you have to do it over ,you missed a mark . It’s devastating. I’ve been dealing with this and while I’m getting the help I need it’s tough.

It’s OK. Your feelings are valid. Take every chance you get to heal and push forward. I am doing just that, it’s nerve-wracking, but I believe in you.

How do you deal with failure?

Until next time,

Dee

Coping in a Pandemic

Hey friends,

It’s been a minute. Working from home paired with other demands has me very busy. I decided to check the many notifications that I’ve missed since my last post.

The blog is growing and people are engaging with the posts I’ve made and that is good. Thank you really, it’s much appreciated.

Today wasn’t a good day for me, I was so overwhelmed I locked myself in my room, I guess I cried 😭 for maybe a few hours. Now I don’t know what came over me but I felt so much better after. I was thinking unkind thoughts ,between work home the current pandemic the news. It was just too much.

Check on your strong friends we are not okay. I was a part of a meeting this week where a team member shared how people are not coping in this pandemic our realities have changed we’ve lost loved ones, jobs, the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen next is just too much. When I heard this person speak I didn’t know or think that for a minute I was going through the motions. No one checked on me but a notification from this blog post that I wrote last year prompted me to reflect and refocus my bearings.

I just want you to reach out to someone if you need to talk clear your head. Ask for help, too often we allow pride from giving us that break that is so badly needed.

I’m not at a 100% but I’m still alive.

I hope you are okay, alive and well.

Until next post,

Stay safe

Dee xoxo

5 PodCasts to Listen Now

Podcasts are my favorite things to listen to these days. I am currently hooked on five in no particular order. Here’s why I think you should listen:

Oprah’s Supersoul Conversations: This podcast is narrated by Ophrah herself which if you are a fan or love listening to her you will understand and know that her voice is strong and very commanding. Her podcast is that pick me up that you want to hear first thing when you get up in the morning. This podcast allows you to tackle and answer life’s big problems and brings you closer to your best self. Listen here

Dead Ass with Khadeen and Devale Ellis: Love Sex Marriage raising kids. This podcast is very relatable it talks about the taboo things that people don’t talk about a lot. I love the relationship between the two and a married woman and mother I can relate to some of the problems that married couples face on a daily. In my head, they’re that married couple that you call to share concerns and just catch up with. Listen here

Redirection with Terri-Karelle: Have you always thought that your life would be a certain way, you set the plans, school, perfect job, perfect boyfriend/husband, kids, the house, and the car. Yet, life has a way of throwing you curveballs. You may get the perfect job but cant gets the perfect husband and vice versa. Redirection talks about rejection being that epiphany for you to unlock your truest potential. Things may never go as planned but how you tackle these changes will determine how you move forward. Terri’s guests are very engaging that you will be left realizing that you have what it takes to tackle the problems and live your truest potential giving you the confidence that is needed. Listen here

Tami Tackles Everything : as the name suggests Tami tackles everything, marriage, parenting and life. It’s refreshing to hear her take on the topics with the   different guests she host on each episode. The topics are relatable and they will give insights causing you to think about changing your mindset and attitude towards change.Tami is a fun listen bonusfor me is catching her  with famly on their Youtube Channel – Meet the Mitchells . Listen here

Girls Gotta Eat : My guilty pleasure. Ashley and Rayna are my BFFs in my head. I love this podcast. I started listening to podcasts in 2019 when I was travelling. Rayna and Ashley kept me occupied on those long flights. They are fun to listen to, I get the girl’s night out feeling whenever I listen, they talk about dating, sex and relationships raw unfiltered truth. I love it, I can binge all day. Listen here

Do you listen to Podcasts? Did I list any of your favorites? Comment your favorite Podcasts I am always looking for recommendations.

Until Next Post,

Dee

10 Valentines Day Date Ideas 2021

It’s the season of Love and we all could use some tips on making the most of the day; especially if you’re a busy mom and wife like me. My husband and I, have been together for seven (7) years. We have conflicting schedules and while we try to manage our day to day life every now and then we are greatful for the time we do get to spend together just us two. I was chatting with some friends in my wife group on Facebook and the question came up. What are some unique ways we can spend time with our significant other on Valentines Day especially in a pandemic.

Here are some ideas of how you can spend the day. Valentines Day this year will be on a Sunday; most persons will not have work on that day so the day can start off early.

1. Bring that Vacation Idea to Your Home – A Dream of mine is to visit Paris, Dubai and Bali one day. Whereever it is you have plans as a couple get creative and create that perfect atmosphere where you both can indulge in the cuisine and attractions. If you need inspiration there is always Pinterest and Youtube.

2. Home Cooked Meal – What’s that one dish you have always wanted to try out? You and your significant other can prepare a meal together. This allows you both to spend that well-needed quality time and also gives the other who is the one who is always cooking a break. Bring out your favorite bottle of wine, music and enjoy the moment.

cook together

3. Games Night – Are you a competitive pair grab that PS5 and challenge him to a game. Call in some take out and have fun. The aim is not to win but a chance for you both to unwind and relax.

4.Plan A Day Trip – Sundays are for Brunch. Plan a nice outdoor activity away from the hustle and bustle taking into consideration COVID-19 is very much present. Have a picnic at the park, go to a private beach. The outdoor will do you both some good.

Spend time Outdoor

5. Couples Massage – Most spas are offering this service to their clients who may not have the chance to come to them. Call and book your favorite masseuse to get chocolate and champagne. Your significant other will love you for it. If funds are limited get creative and offer the services yourself, the point is to ensure that both you and your partner are relaxed and spending quality uninterrupted time together.

6. Watch A Movie – Catch up your latest series. Netflix and Chill. 😉

7. Paint and Sip : Sign up for a Paint and Sip session. They’re several small classes that can accomodate you both. You can make a small gathering out of it if you book with other couples.

8. Online Dance Lessons: Can you do Tango, Pole Dance, Salsa. They’re various options online to sign up with your spouse. It will be fun.

9. Attend a Virtual Party – Grab your best outfit purchase a link to a virtual concert. We are still in a pandemic but that doesn’t mean we aren’t able to indulge in some good music by your favourite R&B Singer.

10. Reflect – This pandemic has hit most people very hard. Some persons have gotten pay cuts and job loss. If you’re not able to even purchase any gifts. Focus on the reasons why you still love your partner and tell them. Just the thought counts. Help them around the house, with the kids. Take a long shower together, relax knowing that against all odds you still have each other.

How will you be spending Valentines Day?

If you are Single you can still try and make the day great. Have fun just knowing you are loved and appreciated and I am happy that you are still around.

Stay Safe. Until Next Post,

Dee